A Precious Film (My Review Titles Keep Getting Better)

Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire is the full name of this movie. I had never heard of the novel Push nor did I know who who Sapphire is. It is an interestingly long title for a film that somehow came in at #3 at the box-office last weekend in only 174 screens. I have yet to mention how this film is almost impossible to sit through. It's not hard to sit through because it's bad, on the contrary it is actually an amazing film. It's so hard because of the huge amount of pain and suffering being experienced by the protagonist, Clareece Precious Jones. Clarice is haunted by memories of lambs being slaughtered when she was a little girl, she hears them screaming. And she thinks the only way to stop the screaming is to take down the ruthless serial killer, Buffalo Bill. Unfortunatly the only way for her to catch him is with the help of a deranged cannibal named Hannibal Lecter... and that ladies and gentlemen was a synopsis of the film Silence of the Lambs. Getting back to Precious she is tortured by her mother and the only way to ease the pain of her home life is to go to an alternate education school, but she can only do that with the help of the seemingly perfect Ms. Rain. Well that was not a very accurate plot description, but it was close enough and it sounds like the one for Silence of the Lambs. The special thing about this movie is the performances, apart from a few interesting camera movements towards the beginning, the camera is mostly stationary, I stress mostly. But the performances by Paula Patton and Mariah Carey, and the two performances I think are Oscar worthy Gabourey Sidibe and Mo'Nique as Precious and her mother. It is unbelievable to see Mo'Nique, who's most memorable film role before this was in Phat Girlz, can pull off such an amazing depiction of a woman so horrible, you want to step onto the screen and punch her in the face. Talking about Gabourey Sidibe, it is impossible to process that this is her 1st film role. She shows such raw emotion in some scenes I had to turn away from the screen. Yet she is so great she draw me into the screen at the same time. It is an experience that shouldn't be missed by anyone who is interested, just be warned it isn't an easy watch.
Precious: Based on the Novel "Push by Sapphire - 4 out of 4
-Zach

My Surprisingly In-Depth Review of 2012

I vowed I wouldn't see this movie, I promised myself I would never, ever see it. Well, I saw it. I did so for two reasons... One was Roger Ebert's 3 and a half star review of it. If Ebert gives it a good rating, I'll see it. The other reason was that NASA confirmed that the world won't end in 2012 so I feel safe going to see it. As it turns out, 2012 is trying to make more of a political statement than a prediction of the apocalypse. The only good thing about the first 30 minutes of this movie was John Cusack who is amazing in pretty much every movie he's in, but unfortunately doesn't appear until about the 20 minute mark. Before that it is mainly unintelligible sciencey nonsense. It felt exactly the same as the beginning of The Day After Tomorrow. I felt you could have even taken some scenes out of the beginning of this movie and put it into the beginning of The Day After Tomorrow and I wouldn't have noticed it came from another movie. It starts with a single abnormality in the temperature of an area. Then it involves telling the government, thankfully the government actually believes the scientist in this movie, unlike in The Day After Tomorrow but this isn't a comparison essay it's a review of 2012. So you get past the stupid, meaningless and unneeded exposition and suddenly Woody Harrelson shows up with more premonitions of the apocalypse, but this time I didn't mind it because... well... because it's effin' Woody Harrelson for pete's sake. Then you get to that fateful day you've been waiting for since the beginning of the movie. It starts simply with an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator who says the worst of environmental troubles are over suddenly there is a huge earthquake literally splitting Los Angeles in half. While that is going on, one the best action sequences of the year ensues with Cusack driving his family through the whole mess in a limo. For the next hour and a half there is almost nothing but straight up action, sure there are a few "serious" talking scenes, but I tried mostly to ignore them because of the mediocre dialogue (then again John Cusack can make most of the lines sound convincing enough). Going back to the action, this movie has some of the best special effects I've ever seen in a movie and there are more of them than any movie I've ever seen as well. As you see national monuments such as the Washington Monument destroyed it looks surprisingly real. Surprisingly there are some good performances sprinkled in this less-mindless than usual action film. I enjoyed John Cusack (obviously), Woody Harrelson (I already mentioned him too), Danny Glover as the president, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and I also though Liam James showed some early talent as John Cusack's son (he sure beats Jake Gyllenhaal in The Day After Tommorow). On the opposite side of the spectrum I hated, hated, hated, Oliver Platt as Carl Anheuser, he is the villain of the movie, but even he started being evil he pulled me out of the movie with his terrible line delivery. The Carl Anheuser character is representing big business and its involvement with the government, no one of authority shows up on the plane so who takes over, Anheuser. While the president is portrayed as a noble caring man, Anheuser makes sure that only billionaires will be able to survive after the apocalypse. He also sets up a very intriguing conspiracy to stop the world from finding out about the apocalypse. After all this business with who is being saved and who is not, I felt the final 20 minutes are very anti-climatic. The world had just ended and the movie continued with a climax that seemed so minuscule in comparison to the end of the world it made me laugh. Also, a fact revealed in the last minute of the film almost makes the previous hour pointless, which upset me quite a bit, but it was made up for entirely by the previous hour. When I reflect on this movie it just seems like a huge (158 minutes) mash-up of Titanic, Poseidon (I swear one scene was taken directly out of Poseidon, you'll know it when you see it), The Day After Tomorrow, Independence Day, and there's many more but I just can't place my finger on them. Surprisingly, it works, amazingly in fact. It's much better than any of that Michael Bay, Transformers crap, and it more than makes up for 10,000 BC, director, Roland Emmerich's last film. 2012 is huge in every way and it is really a great time at the movies.
2012 - 4 out of 4
-Zach
Note: I like The Day After Tomorrow, I'm neutral towards Independence Day, and I hate 10,000 BC.

Antichrist, The Men Who Stare at Goats, and A Christmas Carol

I saw three movies this weekend, and guess what, I'm going to review them! The first movie I saw was...
Antichrist - Lars von Trier is an amazing director. Antichrist is amazingly directed. It is also amazingly acted by Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg. After watching the first hour of this movie it would be a four star movie for me, but then something happens. The movie takes a sharp turn to the extremely graphic and insane. The first hour is masterfully done, the first scene is jaw-droppingly beautiful and there are also some more surreal moments and images. But in the last 45 minutes there are occurrences so extremely graphic I'm not even sure how to recommend this movie with a clear conscience. If you have a strong stomach, I urge you to see this as fast as your can, but for everyone else I'm afraid I have to give...
Antichrist - 3 out of 4
The Men Who Stare at Goats - This movie was weird and stupid. I enjoyed some of it but for the rest of the time I was bored out of my mind. The only thing that almost saved this movie was Jeff Bridges playing a more assertive dude (from The Big Lebowski) who actually did something with his life. All the other performances, even Kevin Spacey's, were dull. The story goes nowhere and most of the jokes aren't funny.
The Men Who Stare at Goats - 2 out of 4
A Christmas Carol - This was a funny little movie. It was not funny like a comedy, I just find it funny that this movie was made. I don't understand how in any circumstances kids would enjoy this movie. I really enjoyed the movie, but there is almost no comedy and there is a lot of talking. There are also some haunting images which I enjoyed but many young children wouldn't. I absolutely loved the visual flare of this movie and I think that is the best thing about the movie. If you like the story I would recommend it, but if you are going with young kids with short attention spans I'd suggest that you not spend your ten dollars on this.
A Christmas Carol - 3 out of 4
A Christmas Carol and The Men Who Stare at Goats are in wide release and Antichrist is in limited release and is available on IFC on demand.
-Zach

Best Movie Endings

I haven't done a list in a very long time; so I decided, since it was the end of the year to do a best movie endings list.

1. Pulp Fiction - Well, it is my favorite movie of all time, and the end scene in the diner is one of the best scenes I've ever scene. Key Moment: "The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd."
2. Gone With the Wind - Classic, classic, classic, that's all I have to say about that. Key Moment: "... After all tomorrow is another day!"
   
3. The Shining - The last 20 minutes of this movie is filled with great cinematography, acting, music, etc. But the last slow zoom-in, right before the credits is simply amazing. I won't give it away in case someone reading this hasn't seen it, but it's a must see movie. Key Moment: The zoom in before the credits. A bit redundant? A bit redundant?
4. Halloween - The whole final chase scene is magnificent. Key Moment: I'm aware that the last lines of the movie are very famous, I feel that when Tommy Doyle tells Laurie that "... you can't kill the boogeyman!" is my favorite moment in the entire film.
5. Jaws - Once again, no explination is needed for why I love this ending, everyone loves this ending. Key Moment: "Smile you son-of-bitch!" BOOM.

Well that's it I guess, I'll try to get a review up this weekend.
-Zach